To Find Solace

Nov 18, 2019

I am not sure if I feel strong enough to write this entry this morning but still I write. I often have dreamed filled nights.When I wake up and say “I had a weird dream last night Burton always says”You have weird dreams every night. That may be true but some nights are harder and more emotionally draining than others. I still quite regularly have school dreams . The other night I took my whole class in the wrong direction at the end of the day and walked all the way to Belleisle causing them to miss the bus going home.My principal (Gary Caines) was very upset with me as we frantically called all the parents. Weird.Last night a had a small baby, was taking a bus through mountains to the Wal-Mart to finish my Christmas shopping, and dreamed a whole lot of other jumbled mixed up messes. But the one dream that impacted me the most and gave me the title for today’s entry is the one responsible for my melancholy this morning.I seldom get a dream where I actually see Zac. Last night in one of my now fading dreams he stood beside me. He did not talk and when someone introduced him they said he was Solace. In my jumbled waking first moments the scene and his introduction spoke so clearly to me.Solace; a source of comfort and relief.I am weary this morning, I feel weepy and weak but I choose to see a dream with my oldest son standing beside me silently loving and supporting me as a gift, something in which I can find solace, strength and hope.So I wipe my tears and get on with it.

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